Posted in Occasional Observer
Bradley Trevor Greive now on Twitter!
Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words when things have gone horribly wrong, or been left speechless when an outcome has exceeded your wildest expectations?
Don’t let these pivotal encounters leave you looking slack-jawed and stupid – Don’t dredge up a decent retort or winning compliment 20 minutes after the moment has passed – New York Times Best-Selling Author, Bradley Trevor Greive (BTG), has exactly what you need!
BTG proudly presents his new range of free Twitter Curses and Twitter Blessings, a growing library of potent and pithy utterances with which you can smite your enemies and heap praise upon the worthy.
• Unable to articulate your wrath? Then feel free to dish out BTG’s devastating Twitter Curses, including such classics as:
Twitter Curse #38:
May people pretend to like you in order to spend time with your pets.
Twitter Curse #11
May all the dairy items in your fridge be of questionable vintage.
Twitter Curse #35:
May your name feature prominently in public restroom graffiti.
Twitter Curse #10:
May you trip over a guide dog.
Twitter Curse #24:
May your pubic hair grow at an alarming rate.
Twitter Curse #21:
May your sexuality become a popular topic of workplace conversation.
Twitter Curses #1:
May your inquisitive orthodontist have the morning breath of a thousand apes.
Twitter Curse #25:
May dolphins spit upon your sandals.
• So overwhelmed with joy and gratitude that you are left tongue-tied? Then dip into BTG’s treasure trove of Twitter Blessings, including such gems as:
Twitter Blessing #5:
May your excuses for avoiding tedious social engagements always sound credible.
Twitter Blessing #15:
May your love-handles be easily concealed.
Twitter Blessing #11:
May you receive an uninhibited sponge-bath.
Twitter Blessing #6:
May you appear slightly more attractive in photographs than in real life.
Twitter Blessing #3:
May your foul elevator odours always be attributed to other people.
Twitter Blessing #7:
May you find forgotten chocolate in your fridge during a difficult time.
Twitter Blessing #4:
May your new business cards give a false impression of success.
Twitter Blessing #2:
May your neighbour’s rooster have a sore throat.
Twitter Blessing #12:
May you woo your lover at a picnic by winning the trust of wild animals.
To sign up for BTG’s Twitter Blessings and Twitter Curses join me on Twitter here
It’s easy and it’s free!