On the weekend, with help from the Lord Mayor of Hobart I shaved off my beloved, trademark ‘Big Bear’ beard at the Early Childhood Expo in Hobart, Tasmania, to raise money for The Leukaemia Foundation.
A moment of eerie calm descends upon us before my sentence is publicly announced. I contemplate the Zen-like state of pure beardlessness, while the Tasmanian Premier communicates telepathically with a green balloon.
The Big Bear is introduced to the crowd
As a condemned man, I am entitled to say a few, final words. I may have also sung a Sinatra medley. I really can’t remember. it’s all a blur
Even as I take my appointed seat I earnestly try to convince the organisers that there has been a terrible mistake
The Lord Mayor of Hobart grabs hold of my ear to prevent escape, and then slowly raises up the hungry shears
the horror, the horror, THE HORROR!
Glittering mechanical teeth meet BTG face-fur. The man-fleece starts to peel away from my tender chin
The first cut is the deepest…
I become slightly hysterical as my beard drops into my lap and around my feet, and all I am left with is a 19th century Turkish cavalry moustache
The moustache is not spared the eager blade either as the Lord Mayor swiftly closes in on my quivering septum
Final, surgical strokes and the deed is done. The beloved ‘Big Bear’ Beard is no more.
Waking up the morning after and struggling to come to terms with new sensations as curious fingers caress the freshly denuded landscape of my face
Smiling through the tears. I’m feeling like a beardless freak, but am also reveling in the fact that thousands of dollars have been raised for The Leukemia Foundation
Wait, what’s this?! An emergency WGS Beanie with a false beard to warm my moosh and hide my shame!
Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, bliss! I feel whole again……
(Even my dog, Chieftain, is drawn to the magnetic properties of a full beard, fake or otherwise)
No, I will not hide behind a synthetic fur mask – this is the fresh-faced Bear.
This is … The New Me!
By the way: It’s not too late to make a donation to the Leukaemia Foundation. Just follow this link and then click on the green ‘Sponsor Me’ button:
Every dollar makes a real difference to the lives of sick kids, so be generous!